Do you ever have to "preach" to yourself?? I have been finding that I am needing to do a lot of that lately. I have been a Christian for many years. I have heard countless messages on trials... their purpose, how to handle them, and such like. This latest trial that our family is going through is a doosy!! It has rocked our little world to the core. Over the last week, I have found my mind replaying something my pastor said many years ago.
DO NOT FORGET IN THE DARK WHAT YOU LEARNED WHILE IN THE LIGHT.
I went through a tumultuous health crisis this past spring. By the time school was letting out for the summer, I was really beginning to feel a lot better, and life was normalizing again. We were getting back on track financially from my having to take some time off work. The kids were great...they are at such a fun age, everyone getting along great, grades were great, and life just seemed good. Paul and I were as close as ever. I spent a lot of good, quality time with the kids hiking and swimming and just having great fun. My walk with God was great and I was reading a challenging and deep book about the preacher Charles Spurgeon. I remember saying to my hairdresser (who also happens to be family and a great friend) one day in mid-July, "this summer is just peaceful. Things are just really good right now." And then four days later, a crisis happened...and two weeks after that the beginning of our major crisis happened!
I give that background story to be able to draw in the "light" and "dark" times. I can not tell you how much I now appreciate the beginning of my summer. God gave me a time of rest. A time to recharge. He gave me a time of "light." During this time and other times through my life, I have learned that "God is good, always. God is always up to something good in my life, always." I have learned that "God will always meet my genuine needs, always." I have learned "all things work together for good." I have learned "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I could go on and on!!
But when these "dark" times come, it is so easy to forget what I have learned in the light!!! It seems like a lifetime ago that I was sitting almost carefree on the beaches watching my kiddos play and hiking trails with them. But in reality, it was barely a few weeks ago.
This dark place is so very dark right now. But it is only when I force, and I do mean force! my mind to focus on the things that I know are true...the things I learned in the light... that my darkness begins to brighten. I wish I could say that I do not falter. I wish I could say that my faith is so strong. I wish that I could say that I do not ever doubt God's plan for all of the struggles that I have faced over the last five years. I wish I could say I know a purpose in it all. I can not! I would so love to just know "why!" But for now, when I focus my mind on a verse that I learned way back in elementary school, I find comfort. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you..." I learned this in the light. I must BELIEVE it in the dark!
